


Come Undone

by WolfAndHound_Archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Post-Sirius in Azkaban, Romance, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 14:50:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5932279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolfAndHound_Archivist/pseuds/WolfAndHound_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus comforts Sirius after Harry has left home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Come Undone

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Lassenia, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Wolf and Hound](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Wolf_and_Hound), which was created to make stories posted to the Sirius_Black_and_Remus_Lupin Yahoo! mailing list easier to find. However, even though I still love the fandom, I am no longer active in it and do not have the time to maintain it. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in December 2015. I posted an announcement with Open Doors, but we may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on the [Wolf and Hound collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/wolfandhound/profile).

Sirius had been lying in bed for the past half-hour, staring blankly up at the ceiling. Though he certainly wouldn't ever complain about something so wonderful, Sirius wasn't quite sure how they'd ended up in this cycle of love-making. It was just... just -- well, over a day at least -- that they'd come home from helping Harry move into his new flat. Come home to a quiet, quiet house. 

Dead quiet.

He'd hated it. 

The silence had pervaded the house as they ate dinner. As they sat in the sitting room afterward and he stared at Harry's empty place. 

But he was so glad that Remus was still with him. Such a comfort, his lover. Remus had moved close to embrace him, chin resting on his shoulder as they sat together in the sitting room. And then he'd straddled him and brought his mouth to his; the weight of his body had been a solid, welcoming warmth... 

Alright, so he **did** remember how it had all started. He'd taken Remus on the sofa and then on the floor, and then they'd moved up the stairs, several steps at a time, Remus eventually demanding his time on top. The sensations of unfamiliar surfaces as they made love had added excitement to their passion, while they used their love to give solace to one another. 

They'd finally reached their bedroom and bed and Sirius had lost count of how many positions they'd gone through, how many climaxes they'd had and how many time they'd said 'enough' only to begin anew. 

But at least their home hadn't been silent. 

+++++

Beside him, Remus stirred in his sleep. Sirius reached out and pulled him nearer, pressing his lips on those of his lover. Remus responded to the kiss without waking, turning into it, and Sirius knew he could start things going once more. 

Instead he laid another kiss on the light brown hair and let Remus settle down again. 

Letting the quiet flow over him and in.

The sadness was so strong he could feel it press upon his chest. It hurt.

But Harry would have left soon anyway. He wasn't a boy anymore but a man ready to live on his own.

"No," Sirius muttered. Harry should be **here.** He should be in his room down the hall, sleeping. He shouldn't be away from his home. He should -- 

Sirius coughed and turned onto his side, staring at the window blinds now. There was nothing to be done. Harry was gone and it wouldn't be the same.

And he'd tried...he'd wanted to... but for all that they'd shared, he'd still hadn't been able to tell Harry how much he meant to him. Never once had he told him; only in the safety of his mind could he think the words.

'I love you.'

But Harry knew that, right? He had to know...

"Sirius." Remus' voice, rough with sleep, sounded deeper than usual. "You alright?" He embraced Sirius from behind, a hand coming round to lay against his stomach. Sirius covered it with his own.

After a while, he replied. "I miss him."

He felt Remus' soft breath as he sighed against his back. "So do I."

"I never told him, you know? ... How I felt... how I..." He swallowed. "Why couldn't I?"

Remus tugged at him till Sirius was facing him. "You still can."

Oh, God, even the thought struck him dumb. He shook his head, heartbeat rising.

No.

He loved Harry, but he couldn't tell him. Later.

Later, he would. Right now, oh, he couldn't.

No.

He almost couldn't bear to see the sympathy in Remus' face. He wished he could be stronger and braver for him. But these things were harder for him now...

"You tell me you love me every day, several times," Remus reminded quietly.

Sirius looked away. "It's different with you, Moony. You're... you." He sighed. "But you're right, I **am** being ridiculous."

His lover's fine brow furrowed. "I never said that. You're scared. That's never ridiculous."

"I guess." Sirius picked at the loose thread on the edge of his pillow, pulling some of it out before he stopped. He eyed Remus. "How can you be so calm? You were closer to him than me."

Remus half-shrugged. "There's nothing else to be done now but accept it. It's done. Besides, he'll come for visits and..." His voice wavered slightly before he got control of it. "As long as he's happy, I'm satisfied."

Sirius took his hand to comfort him. "I'm so glad you're here," he said a moment later. "I can't imagine being without you again." 

"Well, you won't be. You're stuck with me now." Remus gave him a faint wry smile. 

Sirius stared at him a moment. Once more, as it had through the past several years, the proposal came to his lips, ready to be asked again. 

Three words. That would be all that was needed. 

'Marry me, Remus.'

Sirius opened his mouth to say them -- and took a deep breath instead. This wasn't the time. Not yet. It was too soon after Harry's departure. He'd only appear desperate and clinging. 

He wanted to do it right. The matter was too important to mishandle. He wouldn't do that with this.

So he tucked his head into the crook of Remus' neck, treasuring the feel of protective arms going tight round him. Snuggled into the familiarity of his lover's body. 

"You know I love you, Padfoot."

He nodded, feeling how the softly-spoken words helped ebb the sadness from him. It wasn't fully gone, but it was better than before. 

Sirius' eyes closed.

Remus would never leave him. He would ask him again. This time, they would marry. 

Harry... Sirius knew they would make sure he would not be gone from their lives. He would tell him how much he loved him. One day, he **would**.

And the silence of their home was not so terrible anymore.

~~~~~


End file.
